Seven Days
by WRE
Summary: Things can change a lot in a week... Shonen ai, alright? GAYALITY! If this bothers you, don't read it!!!! Oh, I suck at summaries... It's basically the complicated love lives of our five favourite guys - but if I tell you who's with who, it'll ruin i
1. Day One

Quatre sighed. He was completely unable to get that beautiful face from his mind, those green eyes…

Pushing the door to his room open, he sighed again. He had to stop it! He shouldn't be thinking like this, not about…

"Trowa! Hi!"

"Hello Quatre." Trowa, sat on the end of the bed, smiled at him.

__

He's so beautiful… Quatre felt himself blush, as if Trowa might know exactlywhat he was thinking.

"What are you thinking?" Trowa said quietly, staring down at the floor. Quatre blinked and said nothing. 

"Quatre, I, uh, I wondered, could I talk to you for a minute?" Trowa brought his green eyes up to meet Quatre's.

"Yeah, of course." Quatre moved forward and stood in front of Trowa. Trowa gazed up at him, smiling slightly but something startlingly intense in his eyes.

"Trowa, are you…alright? Nothing's…wrong, is it?"

"What? Oh, no, it's just, I, well, you see…"

__

Oh god I want you Trowa… No! STOP IT! K'SO Quatre, you're meant to be listening to the guy and instead you're fantasising about him… STOP it!

"Oh god I want you Quatre!"

Quatre had no time to register this before Trowa had wrapped his arms around Quatre's waist and pulled him close.

"I want you too," Quatre gasped.

__

…and you're so kind, so generous, so sweet…I want you and….I love you

"I know. But, Quatre, it's not just that, it's…it's you…you're so…so…I want you and….I love you…"

"You know my thoughts."

"Of course I do."

"You know I love you…"

"And I know I love you."

Quatre smiled. 

"I know." 

Their lips met as Trowa leaned back, pulling Quatre down with him onto the bed.

*

Quatre awoke but kept his eyes shut for a moment. His heart sank as he remembered the dream he'd had, and the similar ones he'd been having every night for so long. He wished so much that the dream could be real, that it could come true – but he hated himself for wanting it.

__

How could you, Winner he berated himself angrily. 

__

How could I let myself want Trowa when I'm with someone else?

He turned his head and guilty tears blurred his vision as he gazed at Duo, smiling contentedly in his sleep.

* * *

Heero stared at the screen of his laptop. It was very early, long before anyone would be around. Heero knew, as the perfect soldier, that it was the perfect time to work, with a clear head and no distractions, but he just could not get himself to concentrate. He could not stop thinking about Duo, his incessantly cheerful personality, the way he never shut up, EVER, his shiny braid, that annoyingly cute grin and his huge violet eyes.

Heero may have been very good at pretending he wasn't jealous of Quatre's relationship with Duo, but lately he had realised that he could no longer convince himself.

Heero blinked. He was tired, having been up most of the night. He relaxed for a moment, closing his eyes and letting himself imagine that Duo was rubbing his shoulders, kissing the side of his neck, whispering in his ear

__

Heero you work way too hard, take a break… Come to bed… You know you

"DAMN YOU DUO MAXWELL!" Heero yelled, slamming his laptop closed. His chair clattered to the floor as he stood up, clenching and unclenching his fists, not quite sure what to do with himself.

"An uncharacteristic display of emotion from the perfect soldier, Heero."

Heero whirled around to see Wufei standing in the doorway. Usually he would have said "hn" and proceeded to ignore the Chinese pilot. This time, however…

"Weak is it? Don't tell me, I'm acting like an onna, well let me tell you something I DON'T CARE! OK!? You've told me I'm weak SO many times that, hey, I know! And I still don't care. Fuck off and leave me alone because I don't care what you think!"

Heero stormed over to him, pushed him roughly out of the doorway and slammed the door, glaring although there was no longer anybody to glare at. He leaned back against the door and sank to the floor. Wufei, however irritating, was right. He had to control himself, he was slipping. He was feeling things he'd never felt before, he was letting emotions, so unfamiliar, get the better of him – and it was weak.

An image of Duo stood suddenly before him, grinning disarmingly.

__

Let it go, Heero

Feel your emotions

There's so much you don't feel

And I make you feel, don't I

I can show you Heero

"SHUT UP! SHUT UP SHUT UP!" Heero screamed. "SHUT UP!"

*

Wufei stood, blinking at the door that had been slammed in his face moments before. 

"I was only commenting," he muttered. "Did I say it was a BAD thing?"

"SHUT UP!" he heard Heero shout from behind the door. Wufei didn't think Heero was talking to him.

"He's getting to you bad, isn't he Yuy," he muttered and walked off, more than a bit amused.

* * *

Trowa sat cross-legged on the sofa, an open book in his hands. He was not sure what the book was – he hadn't read a word of it. Lifting his eyes from the upside-down pages, he gazed around the room. Heero was sitting perfectly still on a chair, as he had been all day, wearing headphones although the stereo was off and hoping to set fire to the carpet with the terrible power of his glare. Duo was lazing across an armchair, kicking his feet and shaking his head, making his braid swing, brushing the floor. Wufei had left not ten minutes ago, saying he was off to buy some pink lemonade and earning himself many bewildered stares. And Quatre? Where was the beautiful blond, Trowa wondered. The currently absent beautiful blond was the reason why Trowa had his book upside-down and had read precisely no words in the last hour or so. He could concentrate on nothing but Quatre. When he wasn't gazing dreamily at him, Trowa was thinking about him, fantasising and imagining him. He had to stop it, as he told himself regularly, he had to stop wanting what he could not have. Quatre had been behaving strangely towards him over the last few weeks, seemingly avoiding him where possible and refusing to look him in the eyes. Besides, he was with Duo and had been for a long while. They were sweet, they were good together

__

but not as good as we could be

SHUT UP

He glared back down at his book but could not stop himself from looking up again as Quatre came into the room, carrying two cups of coffee, one of which he put down on the table before Heero. Heero didn't move a muscle. He didn't even "hn" like usual. Something was definitely up with that boy today, Trowa noted but forgot as his eyes, hidden by his long hair, followed Quatre across the room. Duo sat up and wrapped his arms around Quatre's waist from behind, pulling Quatre back onto his chair and causing him to throw coffee all over the carpet.

"Duo!" Quatre scolded half-heartedly and tried to get up so he could clean it.

"Do it later!" Duo said quietly and started kissing Quatre's face. Quatre gave up on the whole idea of getting up.

Trowa stared back down at his book, trying to ignore the little sighs from the chair which Duo and Quatre were sharing. Out of the corner of his eye, he was sure he saw Heero shifting in his seat.

* * *

Duo watched Quatre, frowning slightly. Quatre was sitting at the piano, staring vacantly at nothing as he ran his slender fingers up and down the same scale, over and over and over… 

Duo stood up and walked over to Quatre, rubbing his shoulders lightly. He felt Quatre flinch at his touch and closed his eyes.

"Quatre, what's wrong? Please, tell me, you've been acting weird for ages. I mean, is it me, are you upset with me, I mean, I felt that, you don't even want me touching you… Quatre…"

Quatre stopped playing the scale but continued to stare straight ahead.

"Quatre, please, I only want to help you. I'm worried, something's bothering you…"

__

but what? tell me Quatre, come on

Quatre turned around and looked sadly up at Duo.

"Duo, I…" he said hoarsely, then looked down at the floor. He stood up suddenly and walked over to the door. 

"I'm going for a walk," he said quietly, pulling on his trainers.

"What? It's nearly midnight!"

"Yeah…" Quatre muttered vaguely.

"Well… Well, I'll come with you, shall…"

"No! No, Duo, I'd like…uh, some time, to think, um, on my own…"

"O… Alright…"

Duo blinked as Quatre stared sadly at him for a moment. Surely he was about to burst into tears… But he didn't, he just walked out of the door.

Duo sat down heavily on the floor and bit his lip, twirling the end of his braid absently in his long fingers. He was so worried. Over the last few weeks, Quatre had been so down, so unhappy. So distant, somehow. Quatre didn't want to be close to Duo now, Duo could tell – he would no longer kiss him or touch him at all unless Duo initiated it, and then he would shy away from his touch, reluctant. Duo had tried and tried to persuade Quatre to tell him what the matter was, but Quatre refused to tell him, or even to acknowledge that anything was wrong. He hardly spoke at all, in fact, although Duo had seen his efforts at pretending he was fine when the others were around.

__

dammit Quatre I wish you'd tell me what it is that's bothering you

Something was bothering Duo too. It just didn't feel right anymore, his relationship with Quatre, and not just because of Quatre's strange behaviour recently. He had been wondering for a couple of months if maybe he shouldn't just break it off, but he hadn't been able to bring himself to talk to Quatre about it. He really didn't want to hurt him. He hated it when things ended. 

He still loved Quatre, but it wasn't the same… He couldn't help feeling that it was just not meant to be, though he'd never really believed in fate, or that anything was ever meant to be or not so.

__

what am I going to do Duo wondered as he pulled his knees to him and buried his face in his hands, crying hot, silent tears.

*

A few moments later, the door to the living room opened. Duo lifted his head and rubbed his tearstained face furiously as Heero walked in, wearing nothing but a pair of baggy pajama-trousers.

"Hn," Heero said. "Didn't see you." He started to turn, to leave but Duo was surprised to see him stop. "Are you alright?" Heero asked, uncharacteristically softly.

Duo stared.

"I…er, yeah, I…just… Heero, for a moment there you really sounded like you actually cared…"

Heero frowned so deeply that Duo thought he might be about to cry – until he remembered that Heero had no feelings. Heero turned and walked to the door, but there he paused.

"Am I really that bad," he murmured falteringly, turning his head slightly to one side.

Duo was left speechless as Heero closed the door behind him.

*

That night Duo had strange dreams. Firstly Quatre threw a knife at him and Trowa caught it millimetres from his face and handed it back to Quatre with a pink ribbon tied around it. Then a frying pan tap-danced in a field of poppies. Then Heero was kneeling by his bed, watching him silently, tears pouring down his handsome face.

* * *

****

I must be sharing a house with the four most foolish bakas ever to have lived! They are so foolish – all in love with each other! Heero is in love with Duo, this I discovered this morning. Trowa is in love with Quatre, and I believe that although Quatre is with Duo, he may feel something similar. Ah, they all think they are so sly, but I can see it. Except Duo. I wonder how he feels about Heero? I am sure he and Quatre will not last much longer. They're falling apart, although they pretend it's fine and I think no-one else has noticed yet. It's sad. I would say they were weak, too weak to be able to keep their relationship going – but I don't really think that's true.

I went to the store today and bought some lemonade. It was pink. I saw Sally at the store. I think she LIVES in the store!

I drank all the lemonade. I'll probably go back tomorrow and buy some more.

*

Wufei closed the little red book that he kept as a diary and put it on the floor by his bed. Switching off the light, he lay down. Shopping wasn't a job for onnas after all, he decided. He soon fell asleep.

* * * 


	2. Day Two

Quatre sat on the sofa and played his violin quietly. It was almost seven in the morning. He had walked all night, heading nowhere, just trying to think, trying to make himself feel better. Getting home, he had realised that all his thinking had served no purpose but to give him a headache.

He wanted Trowa so much, and was sure he was in love with him. And he hated himself. How could he do this to Duo? He felt like crying every time he looked at him.

The only thing he could do, he knew, was to be honest. He had to tell Duo. But he couldn't bring himself to. Not yet. At the moment he could hardly bring himself to talk to him at all. He was so full of self disgust, and felt so guilty – Duo had done nothing to deserve this.

__

today Quatre thought as he played slowly._ I have to speak to him today _

I hate to have him worrying about me, caring 

I don't deserve him worrying about me, or caring about me

I don't want to hurt him

but I have to be honest

I hope we can still be friends

I love him, I do, but…as friends 

as more than that, more than friends, just

not as a lover. not anymore…

Quatre continued to play, willing all thoughts from his mind. If only he could forget everything for a while…

The door opened slowly. Quatre looked up, and didn't realise that he'd stopped playing as he stared at Trowa standing in the doorway.

"Trowa,"

"Hello Quatre. Sorry, I heard you playing, do you mind if I listen? I can go if you want."

"No, it's alright, listen if you will, I don't mind," Quatre said nervously and Trowa sat down next to him. He lifted his bow to the violin again but had only played one note when Trowa spoke.

"Quatre, are you alright? You look so sad…"

Quatre just nodded, blinking rapidly.

"OK, well, if you ever need to talk, you know, I'm around."

Quatre nodded again, trying to smile. It didn't work. His hand shook as he raised the bow once more to the violin, and he brought his hands down to his lap as tears filled his eyes.

"I…" he began but started weeping. Trowa put a hand on his shoulder.

"Don't touch me!" Quatre gasped.

"What?" Trowa pulled back his hand. "Sorry. I only… Quatre, what's wrong? I want to help, really."

"I'm so horrible," Quatre sobbed. "I'm so mean, I'm terrible, I don't deserve any help."

"Don't say that!" Trowa said, startled. "You're not terrible, you're really nice! You're the best person I… I mean, you're not horrible, why…"

"Oh Trowa, it's… I'm with Duo, but, and, I'm… There's someone else, someone I want, someone I can't have but I still want…him, and I can't believe I'm doing this to Duo but I've fallen in love…"

Trowa reached out and touched his arm again.

"DON'T TOUCH ME!" Quatre screamed, and stood up, knocking his violin to the ground. He turned to leave but Trowa grabbed his arm and spun him around, pulling him back. Quatre found himself looking into Trowa's green eyes. Their faces were almost touching.

__

so close

so close

he's 

so 

close

Quatre found he was breathing hard.

"Why?" Trowa whispered, breathing heavily too.

Quatre turned away slightly, and felt Trowa move his head until their cheeks touched.

"It's…" he breathed. "You."

He felt Trowa's arms around him, his hands running up and down his back. 

__

oh no 

yes 

no 

this can't happen

He tilted his head back slightly and let out a small cry as he felt Trowa's lips on his neck.

__

oh god

oh god Trowa

"Trowa!"

Trowa pulled back.

"Oh god, I'm so sorry Quatre, I… I'm sorry…"

"Don't stop," Quatre muttered. "No, no don't…"

Unable to help himself, he lifted a hand and ran it down Trowa's face. Trowa kissed his fingers and sucked gently on them.

"Trowa… Trowa we can't…"

Quatre put his other hand on the back of Trowa's head and pulled his fingers from Trowa's mouth.

"We can't…"

"I know," Trowa breathed. "Can't help it…"

"I can't either…"

Quatre pulled Trowa's face down to his and ran his tongue over Trowa's lips.

__

no

Quatre stop

stop

don't let this go any further

not now

Trowa pushed up Quatre's shirt and stroked his chest with a long hand as they kissed passionately.

__

no 

NO

"NO!"

Quatre pushed away from Trowa and jumped up. He stared at Trowa for a moment.

"……sorry," he muttered. "I can't do this…not…not now, I can't, oh god…"

He turned and ran out of the room. Trowa fell back onto the sofa and covered his face with his hands.

*

Heero stepped aside as Quatre rushed out of the door. He glared at Quatre's back as he ran out of the front door. 

__

how could he

"How could you Quatre?"

* * *

__

Heero sat at the kitchen table, staring into a cup of tea he didn't really want. He couldn't believe what he had just seen. Quatre…and Trowa.

__

how could they

should I…tell Duo

I should

I can't

but I should

it's none of my business

but you can't just let Duo get hurt

I can't

Duo came bouncing into the kitchen, his braid flying behind him.

"Morning Heero!" he said cheerily, ruffling Heero's hair on his way to the fridge.

"Hn," Heero replied. Then he remembered what Duo had said last night. Was he really that bad? "Good morning," he added. It took a lot of effort.

There was a clatter from behind him. Duo had dropped his knife.

"Wow! You're getting good at this being sociable thing, aren't you Heero?"

__

omae o korosu

"Hn."

"And we've reverted once more to monosyllables! Hey Heero," Duo said, sitting down at the table opposite Heero. "I had a dream about you last night!"

"Did you," Heero said shortly.

__

he dreams about me

"Yup! It was weird, 'cause it was night, yeah, and I was in bed but not asleep, and I rolled over and there you were, kneeling by my bed and just looking at me, and you were, like, crying and everything. And I wanted to, like, say, it'll be alright and stuff, and I actually wanted to give you a hug but I knew you'd kill me, or at least threaten to. Weird, huh?"

__

no, he doesn't dream about me

"Ridiculous. I wouldn't be in your bedroom at night, Duo."

"More's the pity," Duo said cheekily.

Heero looked up, startled. Duo had clapped a hand to his mouth and was staring at him, wide-eyed. Heero suddenly saw how tired he looked, how strained and drawn although he was still acting as Duo-like as ever.

"Duo… are you alright? OK, don't make any jokes, don't be funny, tell me, are you alright?"

"I know, I know, you're not that bad… But you don't wanna hear my problems. Haven't you got any important soldier-stuff that urgently needs doing? Anyone to threaten to destroy perhaps? Maybe you've got a spot of Relena-hating planned for the morning… Ugh, maybe I'll join you…"

Heero glared.

"AGH! Sorry…"

"Duo, I'm serious. You were crying last night, weren't you."

"Oh so what if I was," Duo said, frowning. The psychotically cheerful front was broken, if only momentarily and Duo stood up and began to leave.

"Duo wait I only want to… help…"

"You want to help?" And normal Duo was back. 

"Heero Yuy, you are ill, get thee to yon hospital!!" he proclaimed with a wave of the hand and with that, wandered off, his braid swinging. Heero watched him hang his head for a moment before he turned into the dining room.

*

"Heero, you look worried," Wufei commented as he entered the kitchen.

"Hn."

"You're worried for Duo, am I right?"

"What? Of course I'm not worried about him, why should I worry about that stupid baka, I don't care about him. Leave me alone, what the hell are you trying to say? Shut up about it, alright!"

"Woo!" Wufei laughed quietly and made himself some instant coffee as Heero stormed out of the kitchen.

* * *

Trowa sat in his room, staring blankly at the wall. His head was spinning. Could it be true? Could Quatre really be in love with him?

He sighed as he remembered that morning. He knew it was wrong, that it should never have happened at all, but oh the feeling, to hold Quatre, to touch him and kiss him and feel his hot breath on his skin. It was heaven.

But Quatre hated himself at the moment, Trowa realised. He hated himself for being unfaithful to Duo.

__

and now I'm betraying Duo aswell he thought miserably. 

__

but I love you Quatre 

I really do

* 

An hour or so later, Trowa was lying on his bed, staring at the ceiling, which was far more interesting than the wall could ever hope to be.

There was a knock on the door.

"Yeah," Trowa called vaguely.

The door opened and Trowa sat up to see Heero standing in his room glaring at him.

"Where's Quatre," Heero said quietly.

"I don't know."

"I saw you. With him. How could you. How could he?"

Trowa mouthed wordlessly.

Heero glared.

"How could he do that to Duo?"

"We didn't actually DO anything Heero. And he hates himself over it, you…"

"I don't care! He's still being unfaithful! How could he do it?"

Heero glared intensely once more. Trowa stared thoughtfully after him as he stormed out, and heard him mutter under his breath

"I'd **never** do that to him…"

* * *

Duo frowned. Nobody had seen Quatre all day. And everyone was acting really strangely around him.

__

What? he felt like screaming_. What the hell is wrong with you all today?_

He hoped Quatre was OK. He had decided now, he was going to talk to him. He was going to tell him exactly what he was feeling. Then they could work out where to go from there.

Something else had been plaguing Duo's thoughts today though. To be more precise, someone. Heero, to be even more precise than that. Duo was still managing to convince himself that Heero wasn't attractive. Just. He had also begun to believe the impossible - Heero was a person underneath the non-human-ness of his tough, rude and completely unkillable exterior.

__

he's actually been nice to me today. or, nice for him. well, compared to his normal self, he's been a bloody saint! saint Heero, patron saint of…death threats? death threats and spandex

Duo smiled, at the thought of Heero with a little halo. Also at the thought of Heero in his spandex shorts.

__

mmmmm

no

not going there

"I'm going to the store!" Wufei announced. "I drank all the lemonade. I need more. And I need some, er, biscuits," he said unconvincingly.

"I NEED LEMONADE!!" Duo mocked. "I NEED IT! I NEED MORE! PLEASE…please, if you don't give me lemonade…I'll DIE! OH, and it has to be pink - don't forget now! AGHHHH! LDD! LEMONADE-DEFICIENCY-DISEASE - it's a killer, ya know!" 

Wufei glared.

"And you need biscuits? Wow, bring me some will ya, Wuffie?"

"I WILL if you don't call me Wuffie."

"KK Wu-wu! You better hurry up though, store closes in a while."

Wufei hurried out.

"Hmmm. There's something about him and the store… Hey, Wufei, are you having an affair with that shop? Nataku will be hurt! Or at least, she would be if she wasn't made of metal," he added, more quietly.

"Hn," Heero muttered from the armchair in which he was sitting.

Duo looked over at him.

"What's so rivetingly and fantastically amazingly brilliantly amazing that you'd go as far as to describe it as hn, hey Heero? Hey, Heero man, you look a bit down! What's up?"

Duo jumped up and plopped down on the arm of Heero's chair.

"WassrongHeero!" he said, ruffling Heero's hair. "Wassup? Why aren't you glaring at me for messing your hair?"

"Nothing's wrong Duo. I like you messing my…hn."

"What? You LIKE it? Hee hee!" Duo laughed gleefully, and tangled his fingers in Heero's hair.

__

soft hair he thought fondly then left Heero alone as he realised what he was doing.

"Duo, will you listen to me for a minute?"

"Sure Heero. Go on, talk your little heart out. I know you've always wanted to be a great conversationalist just like me, well now's your chance. I won't tell anyone you actually spoke…AGH don't glare at me! I'm scared of you…"

"Duo you look tired and pale and I can tell something's wrong…"

"Oh, you can TELL can you?" Duo said, no longer grinning.

__

and don't try to make me believe you actually care

I kinda wish you did

Heero continued doggedly. "I can. What is it, Duo?"

"Do you care? Does it really matter to you?" Duo said seriously.

Heero mumbled something completely inaudible.

"Huh?"

"Nothing."

Duo thought for a moment.

"Heero, would you listen if I told you?"

"What?"

"Would you listen? If I tell you what's wrong, will you listen, and not laugh" _not that that's likely anyway _"and keep it a secret?"

"Yes. I really will. Do you believe me?"

__

dammit yes I do

"I believe you."

"So? I'll try and help…"

"Oh, you won't be able to help me. But maybe I'll feel better if I talk to someone. Even if it is you…"

Heero didn't even glare. He just looked up at Duo, sad and serious.

"Go on, I'm listening."

"Well, it's Quatre. I'm really worried about him, and he won't talk to me at all, and he…he doesn't want me anymore, Heero. But the thing is, it's not just that, it's… I don't want to be with **him** anymore. Don't look like that! I do love him, really, but…not really in the same way. I love him, more than a friend, but, I don't know, we're just not right anymore. And there's someone else I kinda… Well anyway, it's just difficult. I don't wanna end it with him because I hate things ending, ya know. I don't wanna hurt him, even though I don't think he'd mind much… I feel terrible keeping my feelings from him… It's difficult… I just don't know what to do." 

"No, you're right, I can't help."

Duo laughed wryly.

"But you listened!" he said brightly. "Thanks Heero!" On impulse, Duo leaned down and hugged Heero tightly.

"Don't kill me!" he squeaked as he sat back up but to his surprise Heero didn't look in the least bit angry. "Sorry. And thanks." He frowned. "I'm really worried about Quatre, ya know… If you see him…tell him…I…"

"…need to talk?"

"Right."

Duo ruffled his hair yet again but as he turned to leave he felt Heero grab his hand. He spun around and stared, turning bright red and surprised at how much he liked Heero's touch. Heero dropped his hand as if it was white-hot and glared at the floor.

Duo smiled.

"G'night, Heero."

"Hn."

Duo found himself smiling, worried as he still was for Quatre, as he walked up the stairs. He leaned over the banister and gazed for a moment at Heero, who was frowning and muttering to himself, and found his smile widening. 

__

why does Heero make me feel good all of a sudden

oh no

Duo Maxwell, you can't! not him! not Heero!

ARGHHH!

Duo was still smiling when he reached the top of the stairs.

*

Heero just sat. Had he really done that? How could he have been stupid enough to grab Duo's hand like that?

And mmm, he liked Duo playing with his hair so much…

He was glad Duo had finally talked to him. Happy that Duo felt he could. 

__

Duo and Quatre, breaking up

Heero wondered who the other person Duo kinda…kinda what? Liked. Wanted? Either way, Heero couldn't help wondering if there was ANY chance it could be him. Surely it couldn't be…

__

but I wish it was…

* * *

**I always feel like the outsider in our little group. Their little group. They need each other, they love and hate each other… they're indifferent to me. They don't need me for anything. I'm an outsider. Outsiders look in though, don't they. They see…**

I came home tonight to see Heero sitting in the lounge, muttering to himself - about Duo.

__

I'd never do that to you, Duo, my love my love he was saying. Strange, I didn't think Heero was capable of love. 

I wonder what it is that he'd never do? Actually, I think I have a fair idea…

Quatre hasn't been in all day. All of us, even me, the outsider, are worried about him. He only acts like this, only avoids everyone when he's feeling guilty, unless I'm mistaken… He treats himself harshly when he feels he's at fault. I'm becoming more and more convinced that he does have feeling for Trowa - and hates himself for being untrue to Duo.

Ay me, the course of true love never did run smooth - Shakespeare

I hate Shakespeare.

The only one I can't fathom at all is Duo. You can't tell what he's feeling unless he says it - he's always in this hyper, cheery mood. It's not always real. Sometimes, it's just a mask but who knows when it's real, and when he's forcing himself to be him?

I went to the store again today. I met Sally, she was on her way out of the store. I walked to her house with her. She invited me in. I wish I'd gone in.

I forgot to get any lemonade. And Duo's biscuits.

* * *

__


	3. Day Three

Quatre looked down at Duo as he frowned in his sleep. He had decided, he was going to be honest. He was going to tell Duo what was happening, what he was feeling, right now.

"I'm sorry Duo," he whispered. "So sorry…"

He reached down and gently shook Duo's shoulder.

*

Duo stared blankly up at him for a moment. 

"Quatre! Quatre it's three in the morning…but you're back!" he said, grinning. "You have no idea how worried I've been…we all have."

"You shouldn't have been," Quatre told him earnestly. "I don't deserve that…" He ignored Duo's puzzled expression.

"Quatre," Duo started, "there's something I have to…"

"I need to tell you something," Quatre said, quickly. "It's terrible, and I'm really sorry but it's…it's gotta be best if I tell you the truth."

"What?" Duo looked worried now.

__

oh god

how can I

at least I'm being honest now

do it

tell him you coward

"I… I… Oh god, Duo, I can't, I, we… I…"

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SAY IT BAKA

Quatre closed his eyes and took a deep breath.

"I'm in love with Trowa."

The sudden silence was deafening. Quatre finally dared to open his eyes and felt tears on his cheeks as he looked at Duo, staring up at him, disbelieving.

"What?"

Quatre opened his mouth but found that he couldn't say a word.

"You were unhappy," Duo stated hoarsely. "You were unhappy being with me and you said nothing. How long?"

"What?"

"How long. How long have you been in love with him?"

"I…I can't…remember…"

"Why didn't you tell me?"

"I…I couldn't Duo, I wanted to be honest but I didn't want to hurt you…"

"Does he love you?"

"What?"

__

I don't know

does he

I think so

"I think so."

"You were unhappy," Duo repeated, shaking his braided head. "I'm so sorry, Quatre."

"YOU'RE sorry?" Quatre echoed incredulously. "How…"

"I hope he can make you happy."

To Quatre's amazement, Duo was smiling at him.

"Duo, Duo _you_ made me happy, you did, you do but… We're, we're, we're…"

"…just not right. You feel it too… Of course you do…"

"You're not angry? You don't hate me…"

"How can I? I'm sad, I hate when things are over, but… It's better this way, isn't it?"

"Duo…"

Quatre felt a weight lifting off his shoulders. Everything was fine. He had been honest, nobody had been hurt… 

"But I am sorry, Duo…"

"I know. But don't be. You can't help what you feel, I know… But don't you ever, _ever_ EVER go off and scare the HELL out of me like that again! I was SO worried…"

"Sorry," Quatre said, smiling weakly.

"And don't apologise either…"

Quatre laughed for the first time what seemed like ever.

"There! Old Quatre is back!" Duo said happily.

__

he's so…fine about it

I'm so glad

"I was so scared of hurting you…"

"I… Quatre, I knew it wasn't working. We were just…not right any more. It's, like, a huge relief, actually. I was going to talk to you about it, if you ever came back… I still care about you though, you know that don't you? You mean so much to me…"

"Of course I do. We'll…we'll always be friends, won't we Duo…"

"We're a team, man! 'Course we'll always be friends, we'll be best mates for ever and ever and EVER… Quatre, I hope you get real happy."

"I hope you do, Duo."

Duo stood up and hugged Quatre tightly.

"We had good times Quatre."

"We had the best times ever! Well, some of them… We still will, we should…"

"…we're still a team!"

"Yeah!"

"Ha ha! Quatre - I'm glad you were honest with me… And DON'T beat yourself up over it, promise me… 'Cause that's what you were doing, isn't it? You're way too nice for your own good, Winner. Trowa…heh, he's a lucky guy."

"And whoever you end up with… He's luckier," Quatre faltered.

Duo pulled Quatre closer to him. Quatre felt tears pouring down his cheeks, and, looking up, saw that Duo was smiling through tears also. Neither could think of a thing to say, so they just stood there.

*

"Quatre?"

"Mmm?"

"We should go to sleep."

"Why?"

"It's four AM."

"Oh. OK then. Night Duo."

"G'night. I love ya man."

"Me too. Goodnight."

* * *

Heero stared out of the window at the early morning, grey and pale, beautiful in it's empty silence.

__

beautiful

It would have been even more beautiful if Duo had only been there to share it with him…

"Hn," he told himself sternly and got up off the windowsill. With the vague idea of getting a drink, he left his room.

Since when, he wondered, had he thought _it's beautiful_ when he looked at the sky? Beautiful views and sunsets, that stuff was Quatre's scene…

"Hn." Heero felt a stab of jealousy at the very thought of Quatre. He pushed him from his mind. Hadn't Duo said, only last night, that it wasn't working anymore? Perhaps they'd break up…

__

HOW COULD I

Duo was right, all those times, he used to say I was heartless

he was bloody well right

I am heartless

how could I even THINK that

Passing the door to Duo's room, Heero forced himself not to think of his braided friend. He thought of the sky, the bleak morning outside. It WAS beautiful, it really was, so calm, so quiet… It made him wonder what the earth was like before people came along and destroyed it to the best of their abilities

__

but it's just the sky

It had been there every morning. It would be there tomorrow…

__

what if I died today 

__

and** nothing** was there tomorrow? 

What if Duo wasn't there tomorrow…. 

__

NO

Heero wouldn't let himself even think that.

But CARPE DIEM, he had heard somewhere, once. Seize the day. Seize the day. Carpe, carpe diem

__

carpe diem

there might not be another one

seize the day

seize the moment

"Take the chance…"

Heero glanced back at Duo's door. Perhaps he ought to go in. Talk to Duo, see him,

__

touch him

want him

feel him near me

close

just make sure the baka was alright… After all, he had been upset yesterday… It would only be right to check he was feeling better… To help if he wasn't… 

He walked over to the door and put his hand on it, about to push.

__

you'll want him 

you want him

you do 

and you will

you shouldn't go near

you should stay away

don't let desire

desire

don't let it

desire

take control

but it will 

it will 

you know

I know

so stay away

I can't

He pushed the door open and walked in.

*

Duo was lying on the edge of the bed, his hair loose, snoring gently, one arm hanging over the side. Quatre was sat on the floor, leaning against the bed and holding Duo's hand as he slept. Both were smiling contentedly.

Heero choked and turned and ran out of the room, hot and unfamiliar tears spilling over his cheeks and stinging his eyes.

* * *

Trowa hummed along with the simple tune he was playing on the piano. He loved this time of the morning, the time before anyone else was around, the peace and quiet that was so rare in this house.

He thought of Quatre and didn't notice that he'd stopped playing.

__

I wonder if he and Duo'll break up

I love him so much

but I can't wish they'd end it 

that's just 

not right

but

he loves me

Trowa smiled despite himself. Quatre loved him… He grinned to himself as he wandered slowly in the direction of the kitchen, thinking of getting himself a drink of some description. The sight that met his eyes upon entering the kitchen, however, put an end to his smiling. Heero was sitting at the table, his head on his arms, sobbing desolately.

"Heero?" Trowa couldn't believe it. Here was Heero Yuy, the man of no emotions himself, crying as if his heart had broken.

Trowa sat down quietly in the chair next to Heero and placed a comforting arm around his quivering shoulders. Heero didn't respond at all, just continued to weep. It made Trowa want to cry himself to see the stoic boy so sad.

"Heero, Heero it's alright, don't cry…"

"He'll never love me," Heero moaned, seemingly more to himself than to Trowa. Trowa wondered, in fact, if Heero had even noticed him yet. "It won't be alright… It won't be alright till he feels the same… Never alright…never love me… Nobody could love me…"

"Heero, please, don't cry! Who…oh… You mean…you mean Duo, don't you…"

"Oh god Trowa I love him so much…"

Trowa put his other arm around Heero and let him sob into his shoulder.

"Trowa, they… Quatre, Quatre and Duo, I saw them, they're… They're back together, they're all fine… It's so terrible of me, but I…I wanted… I didn't want… All I want is Duo, and I can't have him, and it, they, they have each other… He doesn't need me… I can't, I can't bear it…"

Trowa felt his own heart shatter. 

Quatre didn't love him.

__

stupid 

stupid

stupid Trowa

of course he doesn't why would he

stupid

Silent tears began to course their way down his cheeks.

"You're in love with Quatre," Heero said, his voice muffled by Trowa's green top.

"I thought…" Trowa managed to choke out. "I thought he, I thought he loved me, so stupid, so stupid…" 

"It's not stupid," Heero muttered. "Not stupid at all… _I_ was stupid believing Duo might ever want anyone like me… When I'm so…but…and he's so…so… I don't deserve him anyway…"

"Don't say that," Trowa said, pushing Heero away slightly and looking into his eyes. "Don't think you're undeserving, because if you do that…you'll never be happy."

"I think I'll never be happy anyway," Heero said. "Not without…not without him… Trowa can I kiss you?"

__

the hell

"What?! Heero, why…"

"Because I need it," Heero replied uncertainly, avoiding Trowa's eyes.

__

he needs it

what

comfort

comfort me someone

please because

I hurt

I hurt so much

"It won't…mean anything," Heero said. "It just…"

Heero's eyes pleaded with Trowa not to let him do this as he leaned forward and kissed him.

"Heero, no…"

__

comfort

make it better for just 

a moment

no

stop

better

can it be better

maybe

it's just

comfort

It didn't mean anything, after all…

Trowa leaned toward Heero and kissed him back, more forceful, harder, desperate for something that wasn't there.

*

Neither of them wanted this, but neither of them could stop it. Neither of them noticed as the door to the kitchen was pushed open. And neither of them saw the two figures that looked at them for a moment, shocked and dismayed, the one who ran away with tears in his big eyes, or the one who leaned back against a wall and closed his eyes, surprised at what he was feeling.

* * *

Duo screamed in frustration and threw a pillow at the ceiling as the image of Heero kissing Trowa so desperately refused to leave him alone, just like it had been doing all day. He had been kissing him with so much passion, so much desire, so much want…

"DAMNIT! DAMNIT DAMNIT!" he said loudly and threw another pillow. He smirked with momentary satisfaction as he heard it smash something.

He sat up, then flung himself back down on the sofa, trying to convince himself he wasn't jealous. 

__

not jealous

come on man

Heero's not even human

you can't want him

since when did you want him

since always

shut up

you don't care

no

that's right

I don't

DON'T CARE

"I DON'T BLOODY CARE!!"

Duo closed his eyes and found himself imagining that Heero was on top of him, showering his face in hot kisses, muttering his name and telling him he wanted him, he loved him, running his hands over his body, teasing him, turning him on without effort.

"Heero," he breathed. "Heero…oh goddamnit! GODDAMNIT!"

__

goddamn you Heero Yuy

get the hell out of my head

"Or I'll set Relena on you…" he said to himself and grinned at the thought of Heero running for his life from the incessantly-whining pink-wearing blonde when he had no fear of blowing himself up.

__

no fear of blowing you up either 

Duo

you are nothing 

nothing at all 

to him

you know that 

see

he wouldn't think twice about killing you

if he had to

he doesn't care

so 

don't care right back at him

"I don't care!"

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right back atcha Heero

oh great man-of-no-emotions

I don't care 'boutcha

you can do whatever the hell you like to Trowa

it doesn't hurt me

doesn't

hurt

me

but Quatre

loves Trowa

and he

he saw too

Trowa 

and you 

k'so

Quatre will be

will be

will

Duo quickly forgot his not-jealousy and jumped up. He bit his lip and then set off to find Quatre.

__

damnit I'm so selfish

I didn't even think 'bout Quatre

oh no

'cause I'm me he thought angrily.

__

all hail me 

all THINK ABOUT me

put me first

all I think about is me

me and my stupid crush

my fantasies

my Heero

stop it

I don't even like him 

I hate him

hell yes

and Quatre's more important

so go find Quatre

am doing

*

Duo found Quatre in his room, staring out of the window and perfectly still.

"Quatre?" he said quietly. "Quatre, Q-man…"

Quatre didn't say anything. He didn't even move.

"Quatre, I…"

__

don't know what to say

"I'm sorry I didn't come find you earlier, I didn't even think, I'm such a selfish baka, I was so wrapped up in thinking about Heero…uh, yeah, look man, you gonna be OK?" 

"Heero?" Quatre said vaguely.

"Oh, yuh, it's just a kinda obsession I'm not-having."

__

give it up Maxwell

you

are 

obsessed

you're infatuated

you

am not

are too

you're in love

shut the hell up

love

that's

hell that's stupid

"Oh," Quatre said shortly.

"Quatre…I…"

__

still don't know what to say 

Duo wrapped his arms around Quatre's waist and rested his head on his shoulder.

"I thought Trowa…the way he was, the way he looked, his eyes, his touch I thought…I thought he wanted me," Quatre said in a small voice.

"It…it'll be OK," Duo offered weakly. "It'll be alright Quatre."

He sighed and closed his eyes as Quatre continued to stare out of the window at the darkening sky. 

* * *

****

I have no idea what's been happening with the others today - they all seem to have locked themselves in their rooms. Oh, love screws people up, I'm certain of that… I'm lucky I'm not in love. 

I went to the store again, only because I forgot to buy anything yesterday, of course. Sally was just about to go in as I left - confirmation that she does, indeed, live there… I remembered to buy the lemonade, I even got biscuits but I dropped them all right outside the door. Silly me. I suppose I'll have to go back tomorrow. I bet I'll see Sally. Not like I care if I see her, obviously, stupid onna why would I want to see her… I just bet I will. Not that it'll make any difference to me if I do. I don't call her onna anymore, not to her face anyway, due to the fact that it annoys her. Also she has a nice name. Sally. Sally Chang. Po. Po is a very small name. Maxwell says it means a teletubbie, but I don't know what _that_ means - he probably made it up to get on my nerves. Sally Po Sally - it's a nice name. She is a nice…Sally, she always is nice, polite to me when we meet. Tomorrow, I will be polite to her too. If I see her. I bet I hope I will. But I don't mind if I don't because naturally, the woman means nothing to me. 

* * *

TBC

**__**

MWA HA HA HA HA HA HAAAAAAAAAAAAA feed me and I write… *^_^*


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